I missed the bus on purpose

When I returned to the main island on Sunday night, I sat on the Grand Canal with tourists flocking around me but for the moment it felt like it was just me. So I missed the bus on purpose. For no particular reason. I just missed it. I went from rushing home to having it hit me this is real and I am here and this is now. So I missed the bus with no regrets. I stopped being annoyed for getting up too late to have time to go to Torcello. I stopped fighting myself and being angry with the world and embraced the moment. I stopped thinking about what was holding me back. It felt unreal, it was peace. Knowing the next night I'd be rushing to an airport to go on with life, and have to face the music of it all soon, made me want this night to go on forever. And when I wandered the streets guilt-free and realized I could go wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted, I could breathe. I stopped blaming myself for wasting money on food that wasn't the best it could be or having been here three days and still not buying gelato or wasting time on that show I wasn't present during. When I fully let those things go, I slowed down walking. I stopped. I bought gelato. I walked slower and checked the bus schedule, and I realized how lucky I am to be here. How blessed. How beautiful. So I missed the bus on purpose. Sitting there on the water with lights and cobblestone narrow streets, gondolas, gelato, Italian words, masks, art galleries, light up flying discs in the sky. This is why I came here. I escaped, yes, but I finally stopped following my GPS or bus schedule and just missed the bus.

Monday I got up bright and early to check out of the campground and decided to soak in the sunshine before it was supposed to rain (it never did). I headed to Lido, my happy place, the beach. I spent the morning by the sea with cold pizza reflecting before heading back to the city. When my bus pass was about to expire, I went to explore the Jewish Ghetto of Venice and decided to try all the cicheti that day. I wandered around to more churches, cafes, and by the water one last time before heading to the airport. I didn't ever see my new friends again but maybe someday our paths will meet again.